I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
