she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
