my soul wont recognize me after tonight
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
