They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
