Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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