glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
