I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
