I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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