Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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