yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
