i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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