Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
