Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
