I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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