At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
