these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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