i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
