Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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