I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
