Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
