whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
