my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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