just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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