you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
