how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
