I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i now understand why vodka
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
