It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
