mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
