that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
love makes seman taste better
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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