Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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