love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
