last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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