There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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