I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
