A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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