I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
