SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
