Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
