Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
