Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
