are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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