mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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