So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
