So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
