Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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