i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
