you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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