Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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