I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
