That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
